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English Hons Blues

Rajesh , 2788

his is not an open letter to the people who have opinions about the English Honours students. No, not at all. Because letters are more official or personal, or they at least mean something significant. But this is just another blog post. Just another rambling…

… about when a person regrets being an English Honours student in any University.

Mostly. Always.

If I have to act optimistic, the problem only arises when the other person asks or eventually knows you are a student of English Literature. Firstly, this subject will not get you a job, that is, you are wasting your parents’ money. Secondly, it will lead you to the middle of everywhere or maybe nowhere. Both are extremely dangerous positions. Thirdly, wait, I don’t have a third point. I have to go back to my Aunt’s place and ask her how I am ruining my, my neighbour’s, his cat’s and the Gotham City Mayor’s life by opting for English Literature over that Engineering College.

The crisis doesn’t end here. It is very much the starting point that leads to following assumptions by people:-

1. English Homework. Fun thing.

Yay. English Holiday Homework for you, your kid, your grandkid, his cat, his neighbour’s mother’s sister’s uncle’s cat’s kitten is all I want to do while my assignments are due next evening. I am just being sarcastic. I won’t do any of that. Except for my assignment because that is going to help me pass this semester.

2. Proof-reader for the days to come.

No, I will not check your homework/ documents/ wedding invitations for spelling / grammatical / syntax errors. Or, I can do that on 50 paise-per-word rate if you want.

3. Knows meaning of EVERY word that every existed in the history of mankind

Seriously? Dictionaries were made for a reason. Or else, Google it. Google everything. That’s what you do when you don’t know meaning of some word and you don’t want to move your ass to find a dictionary.

4. Shakespeare et al

No, Shakespeare is not the ONLY playwright/poet we read for three years. ‘Romeo and Juliet’ is not even in Delhi University Syllabus for BA English Honors. Personally, I like Marlowe more.

5. A lot of free time

This is a general misconception that we people spend our time reading novels at some beautiful place, ‘drunk on the idea that love, only love could heal our brokenness.’ (F. Scott Fitzgerald)

Actually, those novels are in our course, and believe me, after reading the same book three times with essays, criticisms and what not, the novelty of reading it dies. And then, making sure you are not plagiarizing, quoting everything correctly, and remembering author, poet, critic, essayist, everyone’s name. You should try that someday too and make your life as miserable as ours.

6. Want to be a writer?

Last but not the least this is the query that kills everything else. You can never be sure of what the future beholds. We have left everything to fate and so should you. Thanks. I might end up as a doctor for all I know.

This list doesn’t end here, or anywhere for that matter. But it would be helpful if there are fewer assumptions about the life and choices of an English Major student so that I can go back and write 600 words more of that assignment to pass this semester. See you soon. Maybe.

The Musketeers BBC

Rajesh , 2788